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The Rise of Friend Rock

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

There are some venues and promoters here in Arizona that are really setting a new low for the music scene.

Here’s their game: They get a bunch of inexperienced high school bands to buy tickets, which they then sell to their friends (I call this “friend rock”). The promoters may also get clever and try roping an older band that hasn’t experienced this trick yet. They tell everyone to show up at, for example, 6 p.m. for load-in.

The promoter won’t tell you what time you’ll play. That’s a ploy to get all the bands and the fans they bring to stay there the whole time. If the standard of music was high, that wouldn’t be so bad. But typically, these gigs burst forth with the most god-awful noises and shambolic performances you’ll ever see. Since they’re mostly kids, these bands will use amps that sound like Africanized bees living in an empty keg of frat boy beer, and drums that sound like discarded septic tanks.

Let me be clear on this: Most of these young bands stink. But some have some potential to improve, and I’m glad they’re getting out there on-stage. I just prefer gigs with other seasoned bands, not kids that look like the Jonas Brothers dressing up as Cannibal Corpse for Halloween (and why is it that each of these bands has at least one member that looks like the fat kid from Superbad?). It also really cracks me up that they’re acting all gruff and playing angry music, while their supportive parents (who are usually Judas Priest fans!) are smiling in the audience, sometimes with the grandparents!

Getting back to the promoters, it’s a cynical but effective way to make some money. The kids have built-in audiences at their high schools. But woe to the post-college band that gets suckered into one of these gigs. Oy vey.

Jekyll & Hide Weekend of Gigs

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

This weekend, we played gigs on Friday and Saturday. And I felt like two different guitarists.

The first gig featured some moments of brutal stupidity in two different songs. I had no idea what was going on with me. Last night, though, things went a lot better. But the night got off to a rough start.

See, local music venues run on much the same idea as airlines: If you’re scheduled to go on at 11, it might really be 11:30. Now,  that’s not such a big deal unless your bassist happens to start work at midnight. Apparently, an earlier band played long, which pushed everybody back. Fortunately, I explained the situation to the sound guy, who hustled the band before us off a few songs early.

Problem solved! It’s not always that easy, though.

As for my hard time Friday night – everybody has a bad gig now and then. I don’t have many, and I’m happy to have mine out of the way for awhile. It just goes to prove something else: Take none of your songs for granted. Rehearse well. Pay attention. The audience is listening!

3 Cold, Hard Facts of “Putting on a Show”

Sunday, July 5th, 2009
Big, beautiful stages like this are rare for us.

Big, beautiful stages like this are rare for us.

If you start playing in a band, you will be amazed by the number of people who want to talk to the band afterward – and often, tell the members every single thing they should do to be better live. It’s also plain to any experienced musician that none of these people have spent time on a stage as part of a live band – karaoke is the limit of their experience. With that in mind, here are a few things you should keep in mind when dishing advice out to bands.

1. Stages in local venues are perilous place – Yes, I know they look solid. But they’re clapped out as can be. Sometimes, entire pieces of the stage at certain venues will start sliding if I put my foot on them. One other venue has a section that is ready to cave in; even the most gentle step onto it causes it to bow downward eight inches. We will not be risking limb and possibly life to jump around like monkeys to entertain you. But we will play good music.

Showhorning us onto this stage was a nightmare - I nearly fell off at one point!

Showhorning us onto this stage was a nightmare - I nearly fell off at one point!

2. There’s really not much room to move – The dudes from Iron Maiden run all over the stage during their shows. And I so want to do that. Here’s the rub: If I want to go over to Matt’s side of the stage, I have to plot a careful course with the precision of a NASA shuttle launch to safely squeeze between Todd and the drum mic without knocking either down. I also have to navigate PA and instrument cables all and sundry. It’s like Han Solo piloting the Millennium Falcon through an asteroid field while gettin’ sweet lovin’ from Princess Leia, fixing the hyperdrive and dodging a giant ship-eating space slug, all while the Imperial Star Destroyer that is a 12-bar guitar solo is headed my way. And I have to time it right in the song, where I won’t have a busy part because …

3. Musicians can’t hear jack squat onstage – See, in the Big Leagues, musicians have these things called in-ear monitors. They allow the sound engineer to pipe directly into a musician’s ear what the audience is hearing. Here in the minor leagues, we seldom have monitors. Mostly, we hear our own instrument and the drums, and only traces of anything else. That means we DON’T HEAR OURSELVES when we go venturing around. We have to pick our moments.

A trip to rock out with a bandmate involves NASA-like precision planning.

A trip to rock out with a bandmate involves NASA-like precision planning.

4. We want to talk to you, but let us get off the stage first - This post might sound a bit like I’m complaining about music fans. But it’s the minority. Most are super-supportive, and can’t wait to offer some really sincere and uplifting compliments. I only ask one thing: We’re probably one of several bands that are playing on any given night, and we move our own gear. Hang out and have a brew while we load out – we want to be courteous to the next band and get our gear offstage so they can get set up and rocking as soon as possible. Once we load out, we’ll totally talk your ears off. I promise.

I hope this does something to dispel the notion that this is like Guitar Hero or the World Air Guitar Championship. You can’t just spend the entire time onstage acting wild, throwing your guitar around and banging your head. Let’s say a show lasts an hour. Imagine running for an hour. Does anybody sprint for a full hour? No. You pick your spots, and have some natural lulls. Add the quicksand of crappy stages and technical challenges, and you see why “putting on a show” can be a really tall order.

Hung Dynasty’s Salute to Michael Jackson

Monday, June 29th, 2009

So we decided to throw a little tribute to The One-Gloved One into our set at the last minute. I had Dean?Dean!DEAN! run some video for us — the video didn’t turn out, but the sound was acceptable. So I did what I could for visuals. Enjoy!

Female-Fronted Metal: Post #2

Thursday, June 25th, 2009
Floor Jansen at 2007 Master of Rock. Photo by KaJaNa.

Floor Jansen at 2007 Master of Rock. Photo by KaJaNa.

It’s time for another installment in my Female-Fronted Metal series. Last time it was Nightwish. Now it’s the now-defunct After Forever. Below, you’ll find the band’s wonderful cover of Iron Maiden’s “The Evil that Men Do.”

Now, I have to say – this band is not as good as the sum of its parts. They should be way better than they are. Floor Jansen has a monster set of pipes and possibly the best stage presence of any singer drawing breath (a brief aside: People “ooh” and “ahh” over that chick from the YeahYeahYeahs. I know it’s a different genre, but Floor absolutely destroys her on every level.).

The rest of the band can play just great. What they can’t do is consistently write awesome songs. That might be why there are no longer. That and, in my opinion, a keytar is a kiss of death! The band has a lot of skill and enthusiasm and they bring it full-force for this classic tune. Great chemistry among them. Just not, to me, the best songwriters.

Floor says she has something new in the works – I’m looking forward to it. She is a grade-A metal singer.

As for the video – I love it. It shows real musicians, and you can tell that they’re fighting hard like real musicians do. The guitarist is having a devil of a time with his Floyd Rose tremolo system, having to adjust and lock the collar down. Floor herself seems to be making adjustments to her in-ear monitor system. Overcoming challenges and still delivering. Love it!

Mistakes – They Happen

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

So I was in the Musicians section of Craiglist recently, and someone had posted “Good musicians practice to get it right. Great musicians practice so they can’t get it wrong.”

What a sanctimonious, platitudiness sack of monkey bollocks.

Look, if you play live music, you will make mistakes. It’s a fact. The audience may not notice most of them, but you will make them. Good musicians plow through them and keep the train on the tracks. If you’re a type-A uber control freak that will flip out about mistakes, stay in the studio. Live music will kill you.

But here’s the thing. I accept mistakes as inevitable. However, I don’t want more of them than there needs to be. And I want my bandmates making them because they’re lost in the moment or playing something ambitious. I cannot abide mistakes due to sloth or poor preparation.

Show Report – Hollywood Alley, June 12

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

The crowd at the Hollywood Alley show was tremendous. We caught up with a lot of old friends, including former bassist Stacy. We also made some new friends and fans, which is way cool. It was a pretty energetic set. Technically, I wouldn’t consider it one of our best performances. But there was a lot of verve and commitment, and that counts for something. Stash was rolling video – with any luck, some of it turned out.

Here’s the set list, along with my performance evaluation for each:

Rampage – Grade A. No question. Set the tone nicely. Awesome opener!
What It Means – B. I heard a flutter or two, but most bits came off nicely.
Little Jeanie – B. Nicely done.
Be a Man – C. Our oldest song, which should make it easy, right? No. We take it for granted a lot, and it can bite us in the butt.
Close the Deal – A.
Seek & Destroy – B. I had a moment of weirdness in the last verse, but I was pleased with the solo.
Rage – B. Newest song, second live performance. A hiccup here and there.
Ill Wind – A. Great enthusiasm, minimal mistakes.
Stick it to the Man – B. Some fumbling, but quick recoveries.
Breakin’ the Law – A. It’s a fun way to end the set … especially when my guitar cable is long enough for me to hop offstage and wander among the crowd.

Show Friday!

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

I’m pretty excited – tomorrow (that would be June 12), we’re playing at Hollywood Alley in Mesa. I consider it one of the best live music venues for local and regional bands. Great atmosphere, great stage, nice sound system and a very cool staff. We’re the first band on, which I always like. You get time to set up, and it’s all laid back. We start at 9 p.m.!

2610 W. Baseline Avenue, just in case anyone reading this can join us!

Spinal Tap Moment #2

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

A quick note about Spinal Tap Moments – they’re not in chronological order. Or logical order of any kind.img_5198

One spring, I snagged the band an out-of-town gig. We went to Prescott to play at a venue called Sundance’s Place. It’s near the town’s infamous Whiskey Row, once known as a slab of watering holes for grizzled hermits, cowboys and real outlaw bikers. Now, it’s pretty much the poser crowd – though it still gets lively.

I’ve been to Prescott many times, but never before stopped at Sundance’s. I was in for a treat. This is a real rock ‘n’ roll venue. People are there to hear loud music and get crazy.

I just didn’t realize how crazy. Let’s take a quick inventory:

1. During our entire set, an autistic guy was break-dancing on crutches!

2. A grizzled old rocker kept slapping me on the knee and wanting me to give him “the knuckles” or a high-five after every guitar solo.

3. A buxom drunkette stormed the stage and rubbed various parts of her anatomy all over Todd during one of my solos. Todd kept on playing and actually blocked her from stepping on his pedalboard. The proper course of action, of course, would’ve been to let me worry about the guitar stuff, drop out of the song, and give the lass the proper attention.

4. While leaping off the stage and onto the floor during one song, I mis-judged the awesome power of my quads and rocketed straight into the ceiling WITH MY HEAD. Yes, I might be your hero – but I’m sometimes the goat, too.

Now that is what we call fun!

Freebird! Play some Skynyrd!

Monday, May 25th, 2009

If you’re in a band, especially one with the temerity to play guitar solos, someone is going to yell “Freebird” or “play some Skynyrd!” This is as certain as the sun rising, or as a frat boy yelling “wooooooo!” at a party.

Photoshop by Laura Rude.

Photoshop by Laura Rude.

Now, this probably funny the first three times. Everybody since then, though, is just not clever enough to come up with
something of their own.

And I promise this: The first time someone yells “Play some Immortal … something from the Sons of Northern Darkness album!”, I will jump off the stage. That person will then get a hug and a free Hung Dynasty CD.

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