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Friday, September 03, 2010 17:38

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Now, THAT’S an Endorsement!

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

The Hammerfall show at U.B.’s was a blast, and the gift of Hammerfall keeps on giving: My bandmate, Todd, looked up the band’s Engl amps. He wound up perusing the list of high-profile bands using Engl amps, and he found an absolutely delightful gem of a testimonial from a member of the black metal band Immortal, which he gleefully forwarded to me:

“Engl Powerball miraculously fits my outrage, and shakes my great balls of frost!” - ABBATH / IMMORTAL

That has to be the greatest user testimonial I’ve ever seen, bar none. Still, I’m not sure if Abbath meant that the Powerball shakes the frost from his balls, or if his goolies are actually composed of frost.

I’ll bet Todd guffawed like a madman when he saw that. And I think “My Great Balls of Frost” will be my new catchphrase.

To be friends at Fryette Amplification: I will try very hard to come up with a testimonial for my Deliverance 60 that trumps Abbath’s praise for the Powerball.

Oh, and Abbath? Maybe you should put some shorts on if you want to keep praising Nordic deities today …

New Project for the Minor League Rocker!

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

So, Hung Dynasty is still going strong. But I met some great people, and we decided to take on a side project. The singer, Holly, shares my enthusiasm for female-fronted, symphonic Euro-metal. She’s also in another band. The drummer, Robert, plays for Psychedelic Mooj. Bassist Nicolas is in a band called Midlife Crisis.

Anyway, this project is called Luminatus. It’s a cover band honoring bands like Nightwish and The Gathering - you know, those that don’t get much attention here in the States. Anyway, here’s a video clip of a rehearsal.

We’re playing our first gig together at UB’s in Mesa Jan. 2 at 7:30. That’s at Dobson and Broadway. Should be a really good time!

4 Essential Movies for Rock Fans

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

I was just having a think about some great movies about rock music. I mean stuff that’s fun to watch repeatedly. I came up with a few and thought some of you should see them, if you have’t already.

They are, in no particular order:

Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey - This is my favorite metal movie ever. Even though it’s mostly about black metal, it’s a fascinating genre study. And some of the self-importance and posturing is hysterical. It’s also pretty odd to see Ronnie James Dio (NOT a black metal musician) with a collection of ceramic frogs.

Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years - This is a must. These 80s bands … were they confident or just merely delusional? And what makes someone wear leather pants with the buttocks cut out? And is there anything stranger than seeing Ozzy Osbourne carry on an intelligible conversation while cooking scrambled eggs?

This is Spinal Tap - I could write volumes about this story of a 70s megaband in its death throes (or would that be more metal as “deth throws” with an umlaut or two?). It makes people laugh at the ludicrous situations. It makes musicians cry because it’s too true to life. It also has an all-star cast. It only gets better with repeat viewing.

Anvil! The Movie - This is a thoroughly entertaining and even moving story about two guys and a rotating cast of band members. They had their moment in the early 80s, and watched their peers go on to bigger and better. And they want to get to those plateaus, too. And being in their 50s isn’t gonna stop them. I’ve heard rumors this was edited out-of-sequence for dramatic effect. That tarnishes it, if true, but it’s still fun.

Am I missing any good ones? Rock Star does so NOT count!

5 Reasons to Visit Smokey’s in Mesa

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Here in the big, bad Phoenix metro area, a lot of people are a-flutter about Modified Arts getting out of the live music game to focus on art. From the way people are acting, out-of-town folks might get the impression that Modified was some sort of influential, state-of-the-art epicenter of rockin’ awesomeness.

Sorry, folks, but I’m here to burst your bubble. It was nearly exclusively indie hipster music. It has it’s place, but it’s not my bag.

While Modified is basking in all this attention, there are plenty of great venues in this area where bands can really rock. But they consistently and constantly get overlooked. The one I’m thinking about right now is Smokey’s Bar & Grill in Mesa.

Now this isn’t the sort of place from which the second coming of The Strokes or The White Stripes will emerge. This is a place where people who love rockin’ it up will feel at home. If you love AC/DC, if you lost your virginity to Motley Crue (any way you care to interpret that), if you listen to Pantera while working on your Hog - then this is your place.  If you’re not hearing covers from bands like these, you’re hearing originals written by bands who love this sort of stuff … just like you do.

Here are 5 reasons you should visit Smokey’s Bar & Grill:

1. It’s all genuine - Nobody’s there to impress each other … unless they’re doing it on the pool table. It’s the antidote to all the funny-haircutted, Botoxed and pretentious places littering the Valley.

2. It’s friendly - Every time I’m here, at least one complete stranger strikes up a conversation with me. The staff is also as accommodating as can be.

3. There’s no cover - You know those guys at Yucca Tap Room? It’s the same there. They get good bands, and people come for the good bands.

4. One of the best promoters in town books the bands - Bill from Dirty Goat Productions handles the bands, and he picks bands he can count on to deliver good music.

5. You’re more likely to see Harleys in the parking lot than Scions or Cubes - And those Harleys will often be ridden by the very dudes who modified them.

In the quest to turn music into something grandiose and political, places like Smokey’s get overlooked. Let’s not forget: Music is supposed to be fun! The next time you have the urge to see some live bands that love what they do and exist to rock your world, go check Smokey’s out. Hung Dynasty has made a few visits there, and we hope to do even more in the future. We just had a great show there Saturday - all our originals, plus classic metal/rock tunes like “Breakin’ the Law,” “Seek and Destroy,” “TNT” and even “Comfortably Numb” to slow things down a notch. Next time, we’d love to see even more rock fans out there to help us bring the noise as much as possible.

One more thing: As a musician, I love playing here. It might not be the greatest sound system or best-lit stage. But there’s a a great vibe to the place, and the crew of regulars appreciates hard-hitting rock music. And that makes it fun for me to be there.

Help Rock Art Brewery Turn the Tables on Corporate Stormtroopers

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

Lovely. Hansen, the beverage giant, is trying to put the legal squeeze on Rock Art Brewery. The multi-million dollar behemoth wants Rock Art to cease production, marketing, yadda yadda in support of its Vermonster beer. And it wants RockArt to pay its attorneys fees!

The AP reports that Matt Nadeau, the brewer, has been advised by attorneys that he is on solid legal ground. But proving that could be lengthy and expensive. In essence, Monster/Hansen could win because of its deep pockets rather than the letter of the law. That’s unacceptable. You can read more here.

In the meantime, Matt, here’s a theme song for you compliments of Hung Dynasty. Feel free to use it, and Stick it to the Man!

What can the rest of you do? Get on Twitter, and let Monster know what you think. Follow Rock Art while you’re there.

Judas Priest Meets Elmer Fudd?

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Oh, boy. I know this is gonna enrage a lot of Judas Priest fans. But I was just listening to an old live Priest disc. When it came to the track “Turbo Lover”, it occured to me that -at least on this song- Rob Halford sounds way too much like Elmer Fudd for my liking.

Don’t believe me? Then go find a copy of the rather blandly named Priest … Live! album. Give a listen to “Turbo Lover” and see if you can look me in the eye when you say “No, I honestly don’t think he’s about to sing ‘I’m yo’ turbo wov-ah, tell me dere’s no uddah … ha ha ha, wascally wabbit!”

The idea of Elmer in leather and Rob in a silly hunting hat and toting a double-barrel shotgun is also pretty amusing.

Les Paul - What He Meant

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

So my wife asked me about Les Paul today. Specifically, what I thought of him.

I explained that I’m not a big fan of the Les Paul guitars, but that’s a subject for another day.

Still, I liked him. He was a true gentleman and he loved music. He created an iconic instrument. He played all the time. Les did what he did because he loved it, not because he was a corporate suit.

I’d say the world was lucky to hold onto him for 94 years. That’s what I think of Les Paul.

9 Ways to Prevent Your Band from Looking Like Tools on MySpace

Monday, July 20th, 2009

I think I’ve already adequately covered my disdain for MySpace in previous posts. And we know that I accept it’s existence as a -for now- necessary evil for bands.

With that in mind, I’m going to share some advice with any upstart local bands out there. Trust me, these simple tips will make people visiting your MySpace page a lot happier.

1. If you can’t write your band’s bio in less than 250 words, find someone who can.

2. Do not flip off the cameras in your photos. That’s so Hot Topic, circa 2002. Stop it, okay?

3. Skip the fancy backgrounds. They take FOREVER to load. Do what Spinal Tap would do: Make it black. None more black. Or red. Or just one color of whatever.

4. Use multimedia wisely. Look, fuzzy videos of you playing at local venues or backyard parties  won’t really impress anyone. If you must do a video, execute it well, and show only one of them. More videos also slow loading speed. By the time your page would’ve loaded, the MySpace visitor has already moved onto the next band.

5. Nobody really cares what sort of gear you play, especially if you’re not endorsed. Mind this advice even more if you’re playing cut-rate garbage. If you’re playing a BlackMachine guitar through a Kasha RockMod head, I might be intrigued. Otherwise, no. Just no. And no company is gonna offer you free gear, either, unless they stand to gain from it. Learn to play the instruments first.

6. Back to the subject of band photos, brick walls and railroad tracks are also verboten.

7. Don’t tell me you’re gonna change/redefine/revolutionize music as I know it. Please.

8. Friend some real people, not just other bands. Look, few other bands are good audiences. Especially established bands. We’ve got day jobs, outside interests, maybe even families. We’re interested in a few bands, but we’d rather have real people as your friends - and so should you.

9. If you friend somebody, drop them a note. Generally, I’ll send a message along with a friends request. Usually, it’s just enough to let them know I actually looked at the page and added someone for a reason. Yes, that involves more work. But it’s more friendly. I even do this for bands.

Gig Report: Donna Jean’s Libations

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Venue: Donna Jean’s Libations

If there’s one place we love playing, it’s at Donna Jean’s. And if there’s one thing we hate, it’s turning down a gig there. But it looked like we had to, since Matt the Bassist was going to be out of town. Enter Stash from Dorks in Space. He’s subbed a few times in the past for us, jammed with us and attended many a Hung Dynasty show. We asked him to fill in - he apparently camped outside Donna Jean’s with a mobile studio for the past few weeks to prepare.

At about 10 a.m. the day of the show, we got an e-mail from him: “So I was thinking … in what key do you guys play “Beat It”?  There’s a dead bleached pedophile that needs a tribute.” (We’d been working on that tune for a side project) He learned the tune post-haste and was ready to rock it.

In other events, the opening band didn’t show, and Chris had a massive problem with his bass drum’s double pedal. Much sweat and cursing issued from him as he worked like Scotty from the Enterprise to get it ready. Great success! A very good gig with an excellent vibe and a heaping helping of enthusiasm.

Set List:

Rampage
What It Means
Beat It
Little Jeanie
Be a Man
Close the Deal
Seek & Destroy
Rage
Ill Wind
Stick it to the Man
Breakin’ the Law

One Week Without Practice Makes One Weak

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Ah, the beautiful sound of a cranked tube amp is again ringing in my ears!

Todd returned from his trip, and we were hard at work again. Mostly, we worked on refining some newer original tunes along with a few covers. I also introduced the dudes to some new riffs I’ve been kicking around.

It was a pretty upbeat practice, with everyone pretty amped (get it? haw!) about the recording sessions at the Conservatory of Recording Arts and Sciences. Not all was perfect, but we’re happy we got to record anything at all. That it was with a cool bunch of people in a room full of awesome gear was just icing on the cake.

Of course, just getting to play our tunes at rehearsal is always a lot of fun for me. I get to try out a few new things to see how they might improve the song, and I simply love the sound of my Univalve working its little tube-based heart out. And it’s good to hang out with the guys. There’s a lot of unspoken communication, even during songs. Most of it is wry humor, but there’s also a lot of commentary about making a mistake, doing something cool or just a funny accident. It’s amazing what a raised eyebrow or tilt of a head can convey between musicians who know each other well.

We’re also pretty excited about gigs coming up at The Badlands Music Venue in Mesa. We’ve never played there, and it’s always really fun to play at a new place.

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