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Posts Tagged ‘Hammerfall’

Words to Avoid When Writing Lyrics

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

If you’re sitting down to pen some anthemic lyrics, let me give you this tip: Do not ever use the phrase “the sky.”

You see, “the sky” can easily be mis-heard as “this guy.”

Classic example: Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” and it’s infamous line, “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” became “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” This has amused people like, well, me, ever since.

Sweden’s Hammerfall took the lyrical landmine to a new high in their song, “Templars of Steel.” Granted, the song is already silly enough, glorifying, as it does, a bunch of admittedly badass Crusade-era knights who were still quite spartan in their living and weren’t exactly a bunch of ladies’ men, if you catch my drift. For them, it was a life of prayer, combat and just a bit more prayer thrown in for good measure. Partiers like Poison, these were not.

But Hammerfall made it worse with the line “Raise your fist in the sky.” Yes, heard through the wrong ears (namely mine), you have Joacim Cans possibly exhorting listeners to “raise your fist in this guy.”

Fortunately, Hammerfall are playing this over monstrous slabs of instrumentation and Cans’ very cool post-NWOBHM voice. Still, I giggle.

Don’t make me giggle at you – don’t use the words “the sky” in your lyrics.

Now, THAT’S an Endorsement!

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

The Hammerfall show at U.B.’s was a blast, and the gift of Hammerfall keeps on giving: My bandmate, Todd, looked up the band’s Engl amps. He wound up perusing the list of high-profile bands using Engl amps, and he found an absolutely delightful gem of a testimonial from a member of the black metal band Immortal, which he gleefully forwarded to me:

“Engl Powerball miraculously fits my outrage, and shakes my great balls of frost!” – ABBATH / IMMORTAL

That has to be the greatest user testimonial I’ve ever seen, bar none. Still, I’m not sure if Abbath meant that the Powerball shakes the frost from his balls, or if his goolies are actually composed of frost.

I’ll bet Todd guffawed like a madman when he saw that. And I think “My Great Balls of Frost” will be my new catchphrase.

To be friends at Fryette Amplification: I will try very hard to come up with a testimonial for my Deliverance 60 that trumps Abbath’s praise for the Powerball.

Oh, and Abbath? Maybe you should put some shorts on if you want to keep praising Nordic deities today …

Novelty First, Quality Second?

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

Tonight, I’m planning to go see Hammerfall. You obviously know how I feel about Hammerfall.

They’re playing at a small venue called UB’s. No disrespect toward UB’s because it’s a nice local venue, but it blows me away that an international touring band of Hammerfall’s caliber is playing there. These guys sell out stadiums in Europe like clockwork. They have awesome chops, and they put on a great show. Hell, I’ve played at UB’s in my side project, the female-fronted metal band Luminatus (pretty much a cover band designed to expose local audiences to the awesomeness of symphonic metal – you should become a fan!).

Contrast that with Anvil. This obscure, aging, also-ran band from Canada recently dropped into the Phoenix area and had a sellout show at the Marquee Theater. That’s a far larger venue than UB’s – by a factor of 10, at least. Anvil had an early 1980s moment in the sun, then disappeared into obscurity. Then the movie “Anvil! The Story of Anvil” came out. And I admit, I was rooting hardcore for the loveable band of Canuckleheads. But none of that obscures something important: That lead singer/guitarist Lips just can’t sing or play the guitar very well. Rob is a decent drummer, though. The band’s collective ineptitude is pretty plain to hear. No advanced degree from the Guitar Institute of Technology necessary.

But you look at Hammerfall. Its members and ex-members and probably its audition rejects can play Anvil into the ground. Yet they tour America and get booked at UB’s.

What’s the problem here?

The problem is in the mirror looking at us every day. Not individually, but collectively. For some reason, novelty is what interests us. Screw quality. That saddens me.

Sorry, Hammerfall. I wish Phoenix and the United States could do better for you. But know that some of us are delighted that you’re here.

A Chuckle from the 80s Band Survivor

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

So when I was a kid, the Rocky movies started coming out. And I have to admit, they made me love the band Survivor. Yes, I am unashamed to tell you that I loved “Eye of the Tiger.” In a way, Survivor was proto-power metal, before the genre even existed. You know, that whole pure-of-heart underdog reaching for the top vibe, minus the Nordic references.

This Starbucks commercial is another reason for me to love the Survivor dudes. Talk about a sense of humor!

I must say, it would be a blast to have Hammerfall following me around belting out a personalized inspirational anthem.

4 Albums That Got Me Pumped About Metal – Again!

Friday, November 6th, 2009
Joacim and Oskar from Hammerfall, a proper metal band. Photo by Ice Maiden

Joacim and Oskar from Hammerfall, a proper metal band. Photo by Ice Maiden

In a recent post, I gave you the 5 albums that changed the way I rock. As we all know, such music was laid to waste thanks to this one-dimensional, angst-ridden slacker by the name of Click GoBangKurt Cobain. Okay, maybe it wasn’t just him – but he was the standard bearer of this avalanche of suckitude.

As the fallout of metal’s implosion rained sadly upon my landscape, I found little solace. Ozzy’s solo stuff? Blah. Pantera? After Cowboys from Hell, I hated Phil’s “singing”. Limp Bizkit? The less said about them, the better.

So I was one sad Minor League Rocker. Until a few magical albums got dropped on me head. Here they are, again in no particular order.

One Crimson Night (Hammerfall) – I could tell immediately that these guys grew up loving the same music I do. They just added a modern sonic sheen – and some occassionally embarrassing “metal for the pure of heart” lyrics. But hey, they’re Swedish. And their riffs are off-the-charts awesome, so I will forgive an awful lot of lyrical shortcomings. I still favor the lineup that included Magnus Rosen and Stefan Elgren – it pains me to see new guitarist Pontus playing a Les Paul. But you can’t have it all, I guess. I am absolutely thrilled that they are a first-class live band – no, they’re better than that! They look and sound like a metal band should, and they treat their audiences like they’re the only people on the planet.

Better Than Raw (Helloween) – I’d almost forgotten about Helloween. Then I wound up in a record store in about 1998 or so. There, Helloween surfaced with this album like a ballistic missile submarine, and launched a full spread of atomic German speed metal. And each of those musical warheads hit the target! I was flummoxed (remember, in ’98 I barely used teh Interwebz) by the new lead singer, Andi Deris. But he earned his stripes, and I still love this freakin’ album. I absolutely must see Helloween live someday. Some of the albums they released since then haven’t been great, but I bought them anyway to support a deserving band that stuck it out through the Grunge Times. More than any other mentioned here, this album was here for me during a rough time.

Tarja's last album with Nightwish was a monster.

Tarja's last album with Nightwish was a monster.

Once (Nightwish) - In an earlier post, I told you how I discovered Nightwish. The Once disc continues to fry my mind with the possibilities of music, regardless of genre. What awesome arrangements! The creativity, huge sounds and precision on display humbles me. I’d prefer to see Nightwish get back to a more guitar-driven sound, but there’s no way I’ll ever fail to appreciate this ambitious giant of an album. Tarja was still onboard for this album, so the classical vibe was more pronounced. I love the new singer, too, because she has a warmth Tarja doesn’t. But Tarja has a grandeur and gravitas that I’ve never seen in any other heavy metal singer, regardless of what chromosomes they have.

Burning Down the Opera (Edguy) – So back in 2005, I was really stoked. I was on my way to watch Hammerfall play! I got there early to check out this Edguy band opening for them. I thought it was a lame name – and I still do. But man, they played a smokin’ set that night. They were full of the joy and verve of playing rock music, with all the warmth and enthusiasm as a bunch of dudes playing to a venue full of longtime friends. They would’ve blown any other act off the stage, but Hammerfall could match them. I bought this live album and still consider it their high point. Then, they were still more power metal. Today, they’re more hard rock. I’d like to see them swing more power metal, but I still like their newer stuff alright.

I’ve heard many great albums since then from some very fine bands: Tarot, The Gathering, Gamma Ray, Drain STH plus many of my old favorite bands. But these four really revived my enthusiasm.

5 Awesome Things About Being in a Rock Band

Monday, September 28th, 2009
Me playing a gig at the Marquee - huge sound! Notice the short hair?

Me playing a gig at the Marquee - huge sound! Notice the short hair?

When you’re in a rock band, you actually have a lot to complain about: Shady promoters, terrible set times, broken gear, schlepping gear, and so on.

But let me tell you, certain things make all the crappy stuff really worth the effort. Here are my top 5:

5. Your first gig being mic’d: At some venues, you just put your gear on stage and they let you rip. In better venues with quality sound systems, they’ll usually mic each amp and some of the drums individually and run it all through the PA for a better mix. Let me tell you, our first mic’d gig at The Last Exit was something I’ll never forget. Phung was back there on the drums, and the engineer said “kick drum, please.” Phung gave a nice steady thump, and you could hear the volume and resonance increase as the engineer turned his channel up. It was awesome, and it repeated for all the instruments. It is sooooo cool!

4. An awesome compliment: There’s nothing quite as good for the morale as sincere compliments from the audience. I think my favorite was when someone yelled out “Ya’ll are a bad buncha motherf*ckers!”

3. Picking on the drummer. And the singer. And the bassist. ‘Nuff said.

2. Having someone recognize you in public: A few times, I’ve had people say “Hey, you’re from Hung Dynasty,
right?” I even saw a Hung Dynasty sticker on a car, and I didn’t know who was driving it. Extra-awesome for a local band.

1. Playing on the same stage as your favorite band: Now this is simply stupendous beyond comprehension. I saw Hammerfall at the Marquee Theater. Then, I got to play there. It is a huge rush to hear your rig mic’d up at pro touring band volume. Next time I was there, I was watching Nightwish and thinking “hey, I’ve been on that stage!” In the grand scheme, it’s a pretty small thing. But when you’re a Minor League Rocker, you take the victories where you can. And this one? It was one to savor.

So, if you’re in a band, I’d love to hear your Top 5. Whatcha got?

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